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Post by brunneng on Dec 8, 2004 15:08:31 GMT -5
What NOT to say at the airport: All you yankee pig Americans will die today! ;D  ...Each day through my window... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 8, 2004 15:11:36 GMT -5
What NOT to say at the airport: Of course I did not pack my own bag...my leader Osama Bin Laden packed for me! ;D ...I watch her as she passes by... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 8, 2004 15:13:54 GMT -5
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Post by brunneng on Dec 8, 2004 15:15:55 GMT -5
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Post by brunneng on Dec 19, 2004 16:12:59 GMT -5
Here's one for the book! I was waiting at the airport yesterday. A pretty lady walked by and the guy waiting next to me turned to stare. This was a big time, "I have never seen a woman before" stare. When he turned back he must have forgotten he was standing next to his suitcase. He must have decided to look again, but the lady was further away. So, to get a better look, he took a step back, tripped over his suitcase, and went splat, butt first on the ground. His wife walked up around this time and asked what happened. He told her his good excuse, "I was trying to check my watch and tripped over your suitcase." To avoid them seeing me chuckle, I moved away.  ...the way you do the things you do... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 24, 2004 16:33:36 GMT -5
Bumper sticker: I childproofed my house but they get in anyway! ;D ...all I need... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 24, 2004 16:35:14 GMT -5
Bumper sticker: Your child may be an honor student but you drive like a dumb*ss! ;D ...get ready... |
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Post by keres on Dec 25, 2004 14:11:23 GMT -5
Here's one for the book! I was waiting at the airport yesterday. A pretty lady walked by and the guy waiting next to me turned to stare. This was a big time, "I have never seen a woman before" stare. When he turned back he must have forgotten he was standing next to his suitcase. He must have decided to look again, but the lady was further away. So, to get a better look, he took a step back, tripped over his suitcase, and went splat, butt first on the ground. His wife walked up around this time and asked what happened. He told her his good excuse, "I was trying to check my watch and tripped over your suitcase." To avoid them seeing me chuckle, I moved away. ...the way you do the things you do... Hehehe ;D |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 25, 2004 14:58:33 GMT -5
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Post by keres on Dec 26, 2004 12:30:59 GMT -5
A true story! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."  |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 26, 2004 13:01:57 GMT -5
A true story! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." Well, they can always say the tear gas got in their eyes, right? :crying ...raindrops will hide my teardrops... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 28, 2004 16:34:00 GMT -5
Saw this one in the paper. Guy got stopped by the police while walking his dog. He was smoking weed and laughing. When questioned, he gave his good excuse: "My dog has glaucoma, and since he can't smoke, I'm smoking for him and blowing the fumes in his face." Surprise...they didn't believe him! ...can't get next to you... |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Dec 28, 2004 16:41:58 GMT -5
Saw this one in the paper. Guy got stopped by the police while walking his dog. He was smoking weed and laughing. When questioned, he gave his good excuse: "My dog has glaucoma, and since he can't smoke, I'm smoking for him and blowing the fumes in his face." Surprise...they didn't believe him! ...can't get next to you... :laughing :laughing :laughing He is a mess...He deserve a sign.... |
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Post by brunneng on Dec 28, 2004 16:50:14 GMT -5
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Post by keres on Dec 29, 2004 12:03:53 GMT -5
Some hilarious newspaper headlines:
1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
16. War Dims Hope for Peace
17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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