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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 9:38:26 GMT -5
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's Master card.
I'm sure you've all received their applications in the mail.
However, I'm here to advertise a different card.
You see, my life is a product for others to see.
I'm a card carrying representative for The Master's Card.
That's right, The MASTER'S CARD. Let me tell you about it.
There are no finance charges, no payments due.
My bill has already been covered...it's a prepaid deal.
I couldn't afford the price, so Jesus stepped in and paid it for me.
My Name is written on the card for all to see. It is accessible twenty-four hours a day from anywhere in the world.
The MASTER'S CARD has so many benefits it's hard to list them all. Let me share some of them with you...
you might want to apply for a personal card yourself.
Just for starters there is UNLIMITED GRACE.
That's right, there is no preset limit to the amount of grace you receive from The MASTER'S CARD.
Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places?
Then, look no farther than The MASTER'S CARD.
It offers the greatest rate on love that has ever been offered.
The MASTER'S CARD gives you access to many "members only" benefits.
Want real joy despite the difficulties of life?
Apply for The MASTER'S CARD.
Want a lasting peace?
Apply for The MASTER'S CARD.
Looking for something you can always rely on in a jam?
The MASTER'S CARD is perfect for you.
Another great thing about The MASTER'S CARD is that it never expires and will never be cancelled.
Once you're a member, you're a member for life...
eternal life, that is.
Membership has its privileges, you know.
So why not apply today? It's only a prayer away....
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 9:54:02 GMT -5
D.E.A.P. (Drop Everything And Praise Him!)
When you don't know what to do..... D. E. A. P.
When things don't work out as you hoped..... D. E. A. P.
When your prayers haven't been answered..... D. E. A. P.
When you are persecuted for righteousness..... D. E. A. P.
When you're talked about, lied about and picked on..... D. E. A. P.
When you're sick and inflicted..... D. E. A. P.
When you're angry and troubled..... D. E. A.P.
When you're having a hard time forgiving the one who hurt you....D.E.A.P.
When your marriage has lost its fire..... D. E. A. P.
When your children are rebellious..... D. E. A. P.
When you're tired of being single.....D. E. A. P.
When you can't see the bigger picture..... D. E. A. P.
When your good intentions are misunderstood..... D. E. A. P.
When you can't hear God's voice.....D. E. A. P.
When the bills need to be paid but the money has run out.....D. E. A.P.
When your family and loved ones still ain't saved..... D. E. A. P.
When you've prayed and cried but deliverance still hasn't come....D.E.A.P.
When you've messed things up by trying to do it your way.... D. E. A.P.
When unemployment seems to be your full time job..... D. E. A. P.
When your friends walk away..... D. E. A. P.
Praise God today - no matter what!
God has a purpose for your life and it doesn't end here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Behind every problem I face, lies the purpose of God"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 9:57:17 GMT -5
Hey Ivory and Tube, you think the forwards are easier to swallow than my sermons?
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Post by MzClassic on Jul 10, 2003 10:10:30 GMT -5
Thanks For Today's Sermon ((((POOPIE)))), Couldn't have came at a better time  That Master's Card piece was hitting home here....And you're RIGHT, there's NO card like the MASTER'S....   BTW...D.E.A.P.....WAS a Very DEEP message and it came across LOUD and CLEAR!!!! |
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 10:15:28 GMT -5
AMEN ((((((((classicRandB))))))))!!! PTL!!!
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 10:47:23 GMT -5
Because I don't get out much, I must assume that not many saw the Ten Commandments in 2 different languages below that I posted in another room. So here they are:
These are the Ten Commandments Ebonics Style:
1. I'm God. Don't play me.
2. Don't be makin' no hood ornaments and charms outta me, or like me.
3. Don't be callin' me for no reason, ya heard?
4. Y'all betta be in church on Sunday.
5. Don't dis or cuss out yo momma...and if you know who yo daddy is, don't dis him neither.
6. Don't be goin' on no drive bys.
7. Stick to ya own Boo.
8. Don't be borrow'n stuff and don't give it back. Ya feel me?
9. Don't be snitchin' on the otha' man to save your behind.
10. Don't be jockin' yo homie's crib, ride, woman, or nuttin.
And for those who still speak English:
1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shall not have any other Gods before me.
2. Thou shall not have any graven images.
3. Thou shall not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4. Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy.
5. Honor thy father and mother.
6. Thou shall not kill.
7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
8. Thou shall not steal.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy brother.
10. Thou shall not covet anything that belongs to thy brother.
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Post by kalisa2 on Jul 10, 2003 10:49:21 GMT -5
>>>>properly chastised K2Tube<<<< sitting quietly in corner soaking up the WORD made so meaningful by (((((POOPIE)))))!
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 10:54:29 GMT -5
LOL!!! only cause I love ya (((((((TUBE))))))) and wanna hang out in eternity with ya!!!
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 11:56:23 GMT -5
Giving credit where credit is due, "Y'all is stoopid" is one of my favorite miniseries lines, but the "baby" at the end makes it my trademark. I'm honored to be quoted in Kalisa2/Tube's signature.  I might have to explain one day why I call her Tube. Oh, ok, there's no time like the present. See what had happened was, over at our old house at iMusic, before I knew what an *Ivory Fair* really was, I thought she was a black man. I mean for real. She was as militant as they came. Knew all about the Civil Rights Era and everything. Then she was the die-hard defender of Otis and broke a couple of "Leave Otis Alone" sticks across my head. Some of you may have heard about the famous LOA stick. Ivory's invention. Regardless of the fact that I got hit with it more than most, I gave her a new one one Christmas cause she had obviously worn hers out and couldn't live without it, with Otis being Otis and all. Now I ain't no Otis hater or nothing, I just told him to "shut up" on the #5 cut on the Phoenix Rising CD so I could hear Theo and Ron take me to church. She cracked me across the head with her LOA stick for that when all I wanted to hear was that beautiful harmony uninterrupted. Then I was wondering if he balded his head so "the hair on the nape of his neck" could stop standing up everytime he saw a pretty woman. I mean, his nickname should have been *Corn*, instead of Eddie's. Needless to say, I got whacked for that as well which led me to the conclusion that there was a black man trapped inside of Ivory's white woman's body and his name had to be Otis. I mean, what else could the deal be? So I informed the board that we should acknowledge this brother by changing Ivory's name to "Ovary". Makes sense right? Well Ivory retaliated by naming me and my cohort Kalisa2, "The Fallopian Tubes". So there you have it. How Kalisa2 came to be my (((((((((TUBE SISTER)))))))). |
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Post by Dbaby on Jul 10, 2003 17:43:24 GMT -5
AMEN to it all!
And I must say that the tube sisters story is way funny! That must have been before I came around because I've never heard that before!
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Post by Poopie on Jul 10, 2003 17:52:08 GMT -5
That WAS a story wasn't it? Dang, they got me. I lost focus. Oh well, preaching and storytelling overlap with me so I'll just go with the flow. It just ain't no tellin' what to expect. But it'll be all good, cause it'll be all God.
Dbaby, a lot happened before you showed up. A lot of it is posted in the "iMusic Community No More?" room where some old timers were reminiscing, which started me to posting all over again.
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Post by sukkafu on Jul 10, 2003 17:56:39 GMT -5
(((((poopie))))) thanks for holding the pulpit down while i was away!  what an interesting story- i am glad i didn't see that show- the fall of utopia on the tube! -just kidding! ;D FAITH= faith is knowing the sun will rise lighting each new day faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time i pray faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow, faith is a swelling within my heart if i do RIGHT i know. faith is knowing i lived with God before my mortal birth faith is knowing i can return when my life ends on earth faith is TRUST is God, in Christ who showed the way faith is STRENGHTENED i feel it grow whenever i OBEY. Heavenly Father -are you really there? and do you hear and answer every child's prayer? some say that Heaven is far away but i feel it close around me as i pray Heavenly Father- i remember now something that Jesus told disciples long ago suffer the children to come to Me Father in prayer i'm coming now to Thee pray,He is there, speak, He is listening, you, are His child, His love, will surround you He, hears your prayers, He, loves the children, of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven. |
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Post by sukkafu on Jul 10, 2003 18:13:41 GMT -5
poopie- with your permission may i make a slight alteration?
how about D.E.A.R.- Drop Everything And Repent!
''now faith is the substance of things hoped for;the evidence of things unseen.''
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Post by kalisa2 on Jul 10, 2003 18:20:08 GMT -5
Wellll...actually, Dbaby, the Tube Sisters part came way late in the Imusic house, since I was such a late-comer myself. But maybe it was after you sorta left or took a break. I kept trying to call "I"vory "O"vory but it always came out spelt Ovary so there ya go. When our singing group was formed, Ovary and the Tube Sisters was just the right name for it to be ... |
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Post by 2Sweet on Jul 10, 2003 18:29:52 GMT -5
Definitely the Word. Jesus told stories (parables) in the Bible that encompassed the Word anyway, so no matter which way it goes, I still receive the Word.
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