DID WE DIS BLACK HISTORY MONTH?

[Nish]

I think we are all mature here, and I wouldn't lay a heavy issue on you if I didn't respect you and think you were all sophisticates.

But, when it comes to the issue of dating outside other races, i don't care that it happens - I embrace it, and a good cat is a good cat no matter where he is from - but the reason why it's such a hard issue in my community is because it has been used for very political reasons in the past, and for some (NOT ALL, NOT EVEN MOST) it is the result of thinking you (or the women like you) are "less than" and therefore you have to seek better or place yourself in a better position than you think you would have been had you just stuck with those like you. Most of my friends who do date outside the race are intelligent and principled, and don't do it for such self-hating reasons, but I'm just saying we can't run away from history. When you choose other groups because you think you and those like you are bad, that's just not cool. It's unhealthy.

Love between two people is beautiful no matter who it is, as long as you don't disrespect "others" in the process. But other than that, love is beautiful in every color!

[iratherlikeme]

As far as dating other races....the way I see it, good looking comes in *all* colors! My simple explanation.

That's my thing. Fine is fine, and ain't a thing I can do about it except let the dude know. ;D

My whole thing with dating outside of one's race is exactly like this:

When you choose other groups because you think you and those like you are bad, that's just not cool. It's unhealthy.

I just can't get with that state of mind.

[Ivory Fair]

Nisha, I know what you're saying. I can imagine it must be very painful for many black women who must feel like there are no good black men available because either a. there's too many dudes in prison, b. there with white women, or c. they're gay. (I think I just quoted something out of "Waiting To Exhale.")

Anyway, I get what you're saying about black women only recenly seeing strong, beautiful black female role models when for so long lilly white beauty was the only thing that was advertised. ............ But get this........ When *I* see a WHITE man with a black woman, for just a fraction of a second, my gut reaction is "what? are we not good enough for him?" Now, I obviously KNOW better than that so I don't know if it's human nature or what to react that way. I think we females are just naturally competitive and when we see a man with another woman, we begin to assess what is "wrong" with us and wonder what she has that we don't. Maybe when it comes to ethnic reasons the wondermont is just more pronounced? .............. I know one thing, I've never met an attractive, self-confident African American female (like yourself for example) who ever had a problem with interracial dating, you know what I mean?

You wanna hear something that's REALLY weird? ........... Just like I said above, for just a fraction of a second, when I see a black man with a white woman, my initial, gut reaction is to assume the girl is trash. Is that not BIZZARE!!!! I think that just speaks to how deeply racism is ingrained into our society. I mean do I have a major Othello complex or what? But I think that comes from the time I was raised and where I was raised. I was blessed to have very liberal-minded parents who made a point of giving me in a very diverse upbringing. But my granny was a little old white woman from the rural south, and my aunts and uncles are NOW little old white people from the rural south and I heard plenty of "so and so down the road is datin' a n*gger!" and oh what a SCANDAL that was. So I guess that's where it comes from. That's part of the reason why I belive in Jane Elliot's theory that no matter how much we CLAIM to "not be prejudiced" white people in this country can't escape being racist, it's too engrained into our society. www.horizonmag.com/4/jane-elliott.asp

But I'm getting off track. ............. I agree, it's fine to date whomever you want to, just as long as you don't do it with the presumption that one group is inherently better than another. Any black man I've ever dated has been a PROUD black man and I wouldn't have it any other way. I like to eat Oreos, but I don't like to date them.

Of course the one exception to all of this are peckerwoods. I don't date peckerwoods, I WON'T date peckerwoods and it would be fine with me if there were no more peckerwoods on the planet! I like to wear shoes, I have all my teeth, I don't chew tobacco, my idea of a fancy date is NOT going to a Nascar race and I don't drive around with the battle flag of a defeated nation on the back of my car! So you'll forgive me if I REFUSE to date peckerwoods!!!!!

But watching the Sopranos the other night has confirmed to me that I DO like Italian guys, so maybe I need to move to the Northeast. (Ivory elbows Sukka in the ribs.)

[Aba21]

Ivory I always have your back and if you come here to NJ where they film the Sopranos I will take you to the farm where they buried that fool who killed the horse this season. I was there tonight watching the lakers play.

Balck History o me needs to become a part of the curicculm at schools giving it equal time in the learning process. That's all it needs because then you would have all people learning about the history of this country and the people who made it.

I have no problem with who dateds who and never have. But I will admit that even now when I see interacial couples dating, I do look twice even after all these years. But I don't look and wonder why or whether there was something missing from me to make her date someone of another color. I wonder if they are happy and I hope for the best. I just want opeple to be people do what their hearts tells them to do.

[sukkafu]

i love you all. we are family, i got my temptaholics with me...

i hope one day it will be not known as interracial dating,
but interpersonal dating.

the only race issue i see on this board is that ivory doesn't like nascar!

ivory, i like you too ! i bet you even have that cute suthun accent!

conan o'brian had the funniest sketch last night-he spoofed it with ''white history week'' and said what group is the whitest-the irish! the irish came to america to set up gangs in new york, to rob, plunder and steal, and drink like fish! then he had a picture of himself-a proud irishman! it was so silly.

[earthangel]

Sometimes he's so silly and lame it just turns out funny. Like when only one person laughs at his joke, he won't try to cover it up and make another one. He'll just be like "Well, at least the guy in the back liked it". Sometimes he trips me out. ;D

[iratherlikeme]

I love Conan O'Brien. He kills me the way he makes fun of himself. Sometimes he makes these "D'oh!" faces that crack me up even when I'm not watching the show. I also like him because every time I turn around he has Dave Chappelle on his show. Conan says every time, "I swear, you're the funniest guy in the world." I tend to agree. ;D

[earthangel]

Dave Chapelle cracks me up. When he's on there, there should be nothing in my mouth. I might choke from laughter. But he's one of the funniest African AMerican comedians I've heard (to tie this in w/ BHM, our original topic ;D)

[iratherlikeme]

I'd go farther than that and say that he is one of the funniest comedians I've ever heard, period, but I shouldn't. I don't listen to a lot of other "funny folk" except black comedians/comediennes. I try to watch them on Comedy Central but I get one that's lame and I turn the TV and never remember to turn it back.

[tdallasw]

Dave Chappelle is pretty funny - but I still consider Richard Pryor to be the KING. I also like Eddie Griffin - when he doesn't go TOO far over the top. He was hilarious in Undercover Brother. And Chris Rock has his moments. ;D

[Ivory Fair]

if you come here to NJ where they film the Sopranos

Well, the first full episode I've seen of that show was just last Sunday so I'm a recent convert but I've always liked mob movies and stereotypical mob dudes. (I'm smart enough to know that that IS just a stereotype and most Italian-Americans are decent folks just like Sukka ) ............... But I was SO dissapointed when I went to Vegas and didn't see any big tough guys in polyester suits and big gold chains driving big a** Lincolns like in the movie "Casino." LOL! ............ Speaking of that movie, if you ever meet Mr. Ivory, get him to tell you about the time I tipped the sky cap "Sharon Stone" style with the money rolled up in my palm just like in the movie! ha ha.

i bet you even have that cute suthun accent!


I hate to dissapoint you Sukka, but it's probably not NEARLY as southern as you might hope. My dad is from Missour-AH! (that's right, not "missoureee") and my mother HATES for me to sound "southern" so my accent isn't as thick as most people expect. You'll have to get Jonel, Kalisa or seafan to give you an accurate assesment.

[DramaLJDiva]

I've really enjoyed reading the comments on interracial dating! You guys are all very mature.

The only people I'm biased against are ones who find fault with everyone and everything and are so close-mided, it's unbelievable!

[iratherlikeme]

Has anyone seen any advertisements or anything for upcoming specials on the black church [on TV]? I'm doing my research paper on the church and its opposition to change. By that I mean how it views and treats women. My thesis is something like "The discriminatory attitudes of the black church today attempt to force women into accepting less important roles in the church on the foundation that the Bible speaks against women holding the same high religious positions as men."

Besides what's on TV, think are some books or articles I should take a look at? I need all the help I can get.

[Jonel]

IRLM, please check out the current issue of Essence magazine. I read it in the checkout line at Wal Mart the other day. There is a marvelous article by a minister on this very subject. It's in the February 2003 issue. A minister recounts the fact that he was ostracized and fired from his charge for promoting the role of women as officers in the church.

[iratherlikeme]

Thank you so much. I'll go check it out; I think my aunt bought that issue yesterday. Is that the one with Common and Erykah Badu on the cover?