Post by Weak4Weeks on Dec 26, 2004 19:19:27 GMT -5
Jesus' Dad's Name
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus'
mother's
name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name
was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge
n'
Mary.
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old, Reese:
> > > > "Our Father, Who does art in
> > > > heaven, Harold is His name.
> > > > Amen."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > A little boy was overheard praying:
> > > > "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
> > > > I'm having a real good time like I am."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > A. Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
> > > > They were ready to discuss the last one.
> > > > The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
> > > > Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
> > > > "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > After the christening of his baby brother in church,
> > > > Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
> > > > His father asked him three times what was wrong.
> > > > Finally, the boy replied,
> > > > "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
> > > > Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
> > Prayer
> > > > for several evenings at bedtime,
> > > > she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
> > > > Finally, she decided to go solo.
> > > > I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
> > > > each word right up to the end of the prayer:
> > > > "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
> > > > "but deliver us some E-mail.
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > One particular four-year-old prayed,
> > > > "And forgive us our trash baskets
> > > > as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way
to
> > > > church
> > > > service,
> > > > "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> > > > One bright little girl replied,
> > > > "Because people are
> > > > sleeping."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > >
> > > > Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
> > > together
> > > > in church.
> > > > Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
> > > > Finally, his big sister had had enough.
> > > > "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> > > > "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> > > > Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> > > > "See those two men standing by the door?
> > > > They're hushers."
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan
3.
> > > > The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
> > > > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
> > > > "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> > > > 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
> > > > Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > A father was at the beach with his children
> > > > when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
> > > > grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
> > > > where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> > > > "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> > > > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
> > > > The boy thought a moment and then said,
> > > > "Did God throw him back down?"
> > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she
turned
> to
> > > > their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the
> > > blessing?"
> > > > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> > > > "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
> > > > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
> > invite
> > > > all
> > > > these people to dinner?"
