Post by Weak4Weeks on May 16, 2005 9:02:40 GMT -5
Subject: Sandal etiquette - A friendly reminder
Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again.
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: As a member of
the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I
wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang
over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the
backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out
between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact
and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I
will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and
yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend,
coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay
under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back
into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or
toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good
friend Dr.Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the
low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit
into the kids'sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and
the safety of others. No one can
walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate
to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes
swell and begin to look like those Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker
when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.
Someone should to tell her that her toes look like they've been
dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the
world is going to make her feet look good.
I promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually
flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will
swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per
season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth
EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better
one; AND, LAST, BUT NOT LEAST...
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that
show of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.
Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again.
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: As a member of
the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I
wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang
over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the
backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out
between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact
and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I
will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and
yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend,
coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay
under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back
into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or
toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good
friend Dr.Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the
low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit
into the kids'sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and
the safety of others. No one can
walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate
to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes
swell and begin to look like those Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker
when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.
Someone should to tell her that her toes look like they've been
dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the
world is going to make her feet look good.
I promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually
flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will
swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per
season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth
EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better
one; AND, LAST, BUT NOT LEAST...
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that
show of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.
