Elbridge
Tempt Fanatic
Elbridge "Al" Bryant
Posts: 28
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Post by Elbridge on Mar 29, 2005 16:41:35 GMT -5
This thread seeks to honor the movies that are so bad, you can still smell the stench emanating from them months or even years after you've seen them. I pull no punches with the following review so please take it with a grain of salt. Submitted for your approval: perhaps the most mind-numbingly bad movie ever to be printed to celluloid:  "Glitter"I saw this...uh...movie late last year when it appeared on VH-1 and it is not possible to totally convey how truly awful it was. Mariah Carey is to acting what Otis Williams is to lead singing (sorry, I had to) and her performance was truly the stuff unintentional comedy is made of. This movie also, along with the Halle Berry debacle, destroyed Eric Benet's career. In fact, like a Zamboni propelled by rocket fuel, it has seemingly rolled over the careers of anyone who got near this cinematic bowel movement. The direction, by Vondie Curtis-Hall (he played a doctor on "Chicago Hope" and did so quite well), is professional enough but he's overpowered by the simplistic, cliche-ridden writing. After seeing this flick, we can now safely discern what the writers from "Saved By The Bell" were doing on their off-time. I confess, though, that I kinda enjoyed this movie. It's so over-the-top terrible that it's quite funny. The clincher scene where Mariah's songwriter/svengali/boyfriend gets shot is easily the most hilarious of all. Mariah's attempt at appearing heartbroken and distraught come off about as real and honest as the Spice Girl's "need" for individual solo careers. If you have a taste for the awful, you might enjoy this. I know I did on some visceral level. If you don't have time for that sort of thing, avoid this like the plague. Ed |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Mar 29, 2005 17:26:22 GMT -5
This thread seeks to honor the movies that are so bad, you can still smell the stench emanating from them months or even years after you've seen them. I pull no punches with the following review so please take it with a grain of salt. Submitted for your approval: perhaps the most mind-numbingly bad movie ever to be printed to celluloid: "Glitter" I saw this...uh...movie late last year when it appeared on VH-1 and it is not possible to totally convey how truly awful it was. Mariah Carey is to acting what Otis Williams is to lead singing (sorry, I had to) and her performance was truly the stuff unintentional comedy is made of. This movie also, along with the Halle Berry debacle, destroyed Eric Benet's career. In fact, like a Zamboni propelled by rocket fuel, it has seemingly rolled over the careers of anyone who got near this cinematic bowel movement. The direction, by Vondie Curtis-Hall (he played a doctor on "Chicago Hope" and did so quite well), is professional enough but he's overpowered by the simplistic, cliche-ridden writing. After seeing this flick, we can now safely discern what the writers from "Saved By The Bell" were doing on their off-time. I confess, though, that I kinda enjoyed this movie. It's so over-the-top terrible that it's quite funny. The clincher scene where Mariah's songwriter/svengali/boyfriend gets shot is easily the most hilarious of all. Mariah's attempt at appearing heartbroken and distraught come off about as real and honest as the Spice Girl's "need" for individual solo careers. If you have a taste for the awful, you might enjoy this. I know I did on some visceral level. If you don't have time for that sort of thing, avoid this like the plague. Ed :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: I have to admit, though I LOVE Mariah and respect her art, this movie was  except for that song reflections and lead the way but that's not the issue! |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Mar 29, 2005 17:26:50 GMT -5
I'd like to give Crossroads and honarable mention..........
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Elbridge
Tempt Fanatic
Elbridge "Al" Bryant
Posts: 28
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Post by Elbridge on Mar 29, 2005 23:11:42 GMT -5
Oh, I've heard some truly awful things about "Crossroads". I think I need to see it. I'd probably love it...LOL!
Ed
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Post by ken-du on Mar 30, 2005 2:21:05 GMT -5
I saw Marvin Hagler staring in a action adventure (cant remember the name) and he was really,really bad.
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Mar 31, 2005 3:52:52 GMT -5
Oh, I've heard some truly awful things about "Crossroads". I think I need to see it. I'd probably love it...LOL! Ed The movie was pretty much Glitte with a Twist. I think if I was a singer and I wanted to be respected as a true actress, I wouldn't star in a movie where I play a singer. That is not challenging enough. I would probably want to play a mentally unstable person or blind. Something that would really be hard... |
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Post by kalisa2 on Mar 31, 2005 6:05:10 GMT -5
The movie was pretty much Glitter with a Twist. I think if I was a singer and I wanted to be respected as a true actress, I wouldn't star in a movie where I play a singer. That is not challenging enough. I would probably want to play a mentally unstable person or blind. Something that would really be hard... WHEW! for a second I thought you were talking about one of my top favorite movies, 1986's "Crossroads" starring Ralph Macchio and Joe Seneca (based on the legend of Mississippi Bluesman Robert Johnson's supposed pact with the devil). I have a personal story from a friend who watched THIS "Crossroads" with Eddie Kendricks, and at one point Eddie sat up straight and pointed to a character and said "That's Berry Gordy!! That's HIM!!". If you watch the movie you will know exactly where that happened and what he meant  |
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Post by brunneng on Apr 2, 2005 10:41:21 GMT -5
Did we do this on another board? Anyway, steer clear of Zardoz! Sean Connery's only bad movie. Even all of the female nudity couldn't keep me awake. :sleeping:  ...I don't need no money, fortune or fame... |
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Elbridge
Tempt Fanatic
Elbridge "Al" Bryant
Posts: 28
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Post by Elbridge on Apr 2, 2005 16:15:14 GMT -5
Did we do this on another board? Yeah, but it didn't get any love over there so I brought it here. Oddly enough, shortly after it appeared here, it started to get responses over there...LOL! Ed |
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Post by brunneng on Apr 3, 2005 10:54:09 GMT -5
Yeah, but it didn't get any love over there so I brought it here. Oddly enough, shortly after it appeared here, it started to get responses over there...LOL! Ed Well I gave it so much love, it begged for mercy, Ed! Should I mention the many bad Tarzan movies on here? ...get ready... |
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