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Post by Weak4Weeks on Dec 29, 2004 21:09:55 GMT -5
12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Dec 29, 2004 21:12:10 GMT -5
Pay the Price
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again.
"What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Dec 29, 2004 21:15:19 GMT -5
String Theory
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
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Post by brunneng on Dec 29, 2004 21:48:13 GMT -5
String Theory A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here." So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot." Hey, I already used this one, Weaky! ;D A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender is surprised but figures the dumb bear won't know anything about money, so he charges the bear $50. The bear shakes his head, finishes his beer and starts to leave. The bartender tells the bear that he doesn't get many bears in there. The bear tells him that at $50 a beer, he won't get many in the future, either! From the land of sky blue waters, Hamm's, the beer refreshing, Hamm's. ( Hamm's used to have a bear mascot, for you young ones!)   ...the way you do the things you do... |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Jan 6, 2005 9:21:22 GMT -5
Hey, I already used this one, Weaky! ;D A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender is surprised but figures the dumb bear won't know anything about money, so he charges the bear $50. The bear shakes his head, finishes his beer and starts to leave. The bartender tells the bear that he doesn't get many bears in there. The bear tells him that at $50 a beer, he won't get many in the future, either! From the land of sky blue waters, Hamm's, the beer refreshing, Hamm's. ( Hamm's used to have a bear mascot, for you young ones!) ...the way you do the things you do... Really...I must be really young because I don't remember Hamms beer....that wasn't nice him tricking the bear so |
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Post by brunneng on Jan 6, 2005 10:58:39 GMT -5
Really...I must be really young because I don't remember Hamms beer....that wasn't nice him tricking the bear so Don't worry, the bear came back with his buds, ate the bartender, and drank all week for free! Go bears, go bears!  ...I don't mind 'cause you mean that much to me... |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Jan 6, 2005 11:00:24 GMT -5
Don't worry, the bear came back with his buds, ate the bartender, and drank all week for free! Go bears, go bears! ...I don't mind 'cause you mean that much to me... :cheer :cheer :cheer |
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Post by brunneng on Jan 6, 2005 11:10:52 GMT -5
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Post by MissTara on Jan 6, 2005 11:13:00 GMT -5
Theres that nauseous thing.  |
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Post by brunneng on Jan 6, 2005 12:19:31 GMT -5
Everybody loves chocolate milk! Weaky, do you go for the low-fat version or the richness and thickness of the whole milk goodness? :angel Hope we have enough to share with Keres, too! ;D ...you could have been a candle... |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Jan 6, 2005 18:59:36 GMT -5
Everybody loves chocolate milk! Weaky, do you go for the low-fat version or the richness and thickness of the whole milk goodness?  Hope we have enough to share with Keres, too! ;D ...you could have been a candle... Give me my whole milk any day I don't worry about low fat stuff... :cheer :cheer as long as I don't over eat...I can be a slight glutton at times :bonk :bonk :bonk Sure Keres heres a lil chocolate milk for you !! maybe we go for apple juice next week...? |
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Post by brunneng on Jan 6, 2005 20:11:34 GMT -5
Give me my whole milk any day I don't worry about low fat stuff...  as long as I don't over eat...I can be a slight glutton at times  Sure Keres heres a lil chocolate milk for you !! maybe we go for apple juice next week...? Sounds like a plan! ;D ...hey girl... |
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Post by Weak4Weeks on Jan 6, 2005 20:18:19 GMT -5
Then it's settled  |
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Post by brunneng on Jan 6, 2005 20:24:37 GMT -5
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