|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 15:14:42 GMT -5
See.....you all want to discuss this and discuss that when it comes to 5 and 6 year old kids.............please...what's to discuss..........and really only white parents(For the most part) cry that abuse stuff.........they want to talk until you're blue in the face............sorry I don't buy it....If you ain't got time to raise your kids......don't have them!!!! You hire other people to raise them and then wonder why they don't respond to you.........I am in schools every day and I see what these kids will say and do on any given day. Tara, you're right........I put the fear of God in my kids and they got it.........more people should do the same.........I'll never forget my principal telling my mother god bless her limited educated self, that her son needed some behavioral modification..................my mother began to take her belt off and said to the principal I have his behavioral modification right here!!!!! ;D ;D
Raising kids is no exact science. But the first thing in any of theseso called raising kids books should be control. When you have a pet, you control his behavior from the jump, whether it be doing his business outside or when to eat.........same with kids.........you get in their case form the jump to keep the things that later come to fore from happening. And you don't need to be 6' 8" to do it. You start when they are young and you focus on their behavior and you stay on point. You show them discipline while keeping your discipline intact as far as metting out punishment for wrongdoing. As with my pets, if I call my child and he/she don't come the first time, I get up and go get them and it ain't pretty. I do not call them four or five times to do anything..........one time!!!! What's so hard about that? What it is, is lazy parenting. get up off your butt and make them see you ain't got no echo in the house. I call your name...........you come!!!
And if every now and then you hear one of my children hollaring ow!! Ow! Ow! You know he's getting his butt beat and if you're my neighbor you just go on and read your paper or watch you TV and don't be calling no child services cause then you gonna have to call the po-lice when I come over there and give your nosey self a reason to call somebody!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 15:23:01 GMT -5
Many times we as parents blame the school for our kids behavior.Wrong again!! The package that comes form home is the problem. You teach your kid how to act before they go to school and you don't have those problems in school.Teachers can't teach cause they have to be baby sitters............that ain't their job my friend!!!! If achild knows he will be held accountable for his actions no matter where they are school, mall, playground, home or wherever..........they will do the right thing..........I have seen it work too many times.........we put way too much pressure on our teachers to do what we as parents should be doing at home.
|
|
|
|
Post by Coey on Apr 25, 2005 16:32:29 GMT -5
hahahah.. I remember getting beat.. with the belt.. with the big long wooden thick paddle hanging by the kitchen sink.. even with a cast iron pan on my butt.. but I learned... LOLan ohhh the chores I had to do on top of that.. ohhhweeee!!!! ??scrubbing the legs of the kitchen table??.. cleaning the baseboards..? having to clean up the spider infested attic.. ohh I remeber.. it wasnt just the hitting it was everything that came after that!!
|
|
|
|
Post by irene170 on Apr 25, 2005 17:20:39 GMT -5
See.....you all want to discuss this and discuss that when it comes to 5 and 6 year old kids.............please...what's to discuss..........and really only white parents(For the most part) cry that abuse stuff.........they want to talk until you're blue in the face............sorry I don't buy it....If you ain't got time to raise your kids......don't have them!!!! You hire other people to raise them and then wonder why they don't respond to you.........I am in schools every day and I see what these kids will say and do on any given day. Tara, you're right........I put the fear of God in my kids and they got it.........more people should do the same.........I'll never forget my principal telling my mother god bless her limited educated self, that her son needed some behavioral modification..................my mother began to take her belt off and said to the principal I have his behavioral modification right here!!!!! ;D ;D Raising kids is no exact science. But the first thing in any of theseso called raising kids books should be control. When you have a pet, you control his behavior from the jump, whether it be doing his business outside or when to eat.........same with kids.........you get in their case form the jump to keep the things that later come to fore from happening. And you don't need to be 6' 8" to do it. You start when they are young and you focus on their behavior and you stay on point. You show them discipline while keeping your discipline intact as far as metting out punishment for wrongdoing. As with my pets, if I call my child and he/she don't come the first time, I get up and go get them and it ain't pretty. I do not call them four or five times to do anything..........one time!!!! What's so hard about that? What it is, is lazy parenting. get up off your butt and make them see you ain't got no echo in the house. I call your name...........you come!!! And if every now and then you hear one of my children hollaring ow!! Ow! Ow! You know he's getting his butt beat and if you're my neighbor you just go on and read your paper or watch you TV and don't be calling no child services cause then you gonna have to call the po-lice when I come over there and give your nosey self a reason to call somebody!!!!! ;D ;D ;D This is so true! I am also a high school teacher and it is really ridiculus the way some of the students behave. I am also from the old school and believe what the bible says," Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him". Like my mom, if I took my children out in public and they began to misbehave,all I had to do was give them that look, and they knew they had better straighten up! I believe in using that rod of correction. |
|
|
|
Post by janebse on Apr 25, 2005 17:29:49 GMT -5
Kalisa,
I mentioned prospective teachers because the situation dealt with a teacher. I agree parents should certainly see the show too.
I also agree with ABA that it is usually a case of lazy parenting. ABA mentioned animal training and hit it right on the head. I went to a dog obedience school. I should have attended it before having five children, before teaching school. The principles applied in animal training are the same principles used by the NANNY. Firmness, consistency, follow through, but also love. But they all take work, and people are lazy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 17:39:31 GMT -5
Don't lose my point here. I am not advocating beating your kids. What I'm saying is that if you begin to discipline them at that early age, then you have more of a chance to educate them on right and wrong. And those chances of having to beat them diminish considerably. But on the other hand you can't be afraid to beat them if they need it and and they should always be afraid that you just might. I was more afraid of what my mother MIGHT DO as opposed to anything she ever did.
|
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 17:47:22 GMT -5
;D This is so true! I am also a high school teacher and it is really ridiculus the way some of the students behave. I am also from the old school and believe what the bible says," Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him". Like my mom, if I took my children out in public and they began to misbehave,all I had to do was give them that look, and they knew they had better straighten up! I believe in using that rod of correction. My mother had a look that would turn Medusa to stone!!!! ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 17:52:51 GMT -5
Kalisa, I mentioned prospective teachers because the situation dealt with a teacher. I agree parents should certainly see the show too. I also agree with ABA that it is usually a case of lazy parenting. ABA mentioned animal training and hit it right on the head. I went to a dog obedience school. I should have attended it before having five children, before teaching school. The principles applied in animal training are the same principles used by the NANNY. Firmness, consistency, follow through, but also love. But they all take work, and people are lazy. I try to tell this to people and they laugh. ;D ;D What's the difference in puppies and kids!!! At that point in time neither of them have a clue!!! I learned this over the years by having pets all my life and realizing that you need to control your pet.............so I applied it to my children and it worked.!!! My wife used to say to me......leave the dog alone..........leave the dog alone.........and I would say back off!!! This is my dog and he's going to do just what I tell him............Now I look like some famous animal trainer cause my dog does just what he is told all the the time, the first time. Now she has a little dog and she don't listen to squat..............spoiled rotten to the core and now she wants me to train her.............I said no way.........you didn't let me when I could have........now you got to bite the bullet......The only way for me to train her would be to beat her..............and I won't do that............if that dog went outside, she would be road kill in two seconds............!!!! No training and no discipline........ ;D ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by MissTara on Apr 25, 2005 18:31:31 GMT -5
See.....you all want to discuss this and discuss that when it comes to 5 and 6 year old kids.............please...what's to discuss..........and really only white parents(For the most part) cry that abuse stuff... Yes Aba I noticed you said "For the most part" I just wanted to point out that it was a black woman who said something to me.  And I also want to point out that The way you raised your kids (and the way I continue to raise mine) isn't the same way your kids were disciplined, nor myself. You cant just put the fear of God into a child because you have people like that woman who said what she did, and did what she did. However, I'm not going to let society and/or abuse threats stop me from raising my children the way I want to. Belts, paddles, the back of a man's hand is strongly looked down upon now a days, but being a sinlge mother myself, and with a voice that doesnt carry a room that well, you gotta do whatchu gotta do. I dont have a belt rack, and backs of my hands for nothing |
|
|
|
Post by kalisa2 on Apr 25, 2005 18:47:09 GMT -5
I'm loving all these comments~!!
My question does remain though... If the parents have not done their job as far as discipline, and sends this child to school, then refuses to pick the child up (for whatever reason, however good that reason may be) when their child disrupts a whole classroom...
what tools would you give them (teachers/administrators) to deal with the situation? Some are aghast at police/security being called. Handcuffs are out of the question (apparently). Touching is a no-no. What?
|
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 19:01:42 GMT -5
Yes Aba I noticed you said "For the most part" I just wanted to point out that it was a black woman who said something to me. And I also want to point out that The way you raised your kids (and the way I continue to raise mine) isn't the same way your kids were disciplined, nor myself. You cant just put the fear of God into a child because you have people like that woman who said what she did, and did what she did. However, I'm not going to let society and/or abuse threats stop me from raising my children the way I want to. Belts, paddles, the back of a man's hand is strongly looked down upon now a days, but being a sinlge mother myself, and with a voice that doesnt carry a room that well, you gotta do whatchu gotta do. I dont have a belt rack, and backs of my hands for nothing Once again! Looked down on by who? Who raises your children? You or them? I don't need anyone to tell me what I can or can not do to my children. I am a parent and I think a good one. No one will ever accuse me of abuse becuase I set rules, regualtions, boundries and guidelines for my kids to adhere to or else. |
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 19:07:24 GMT -5
I'm loving all these comments~!! My question does remain though... If the parents have not done their job as far as discipline, and sends this child to school, then refuses to pick the child up (for whatever reason, however good that reason may be) when their child disrupts a whole classroom... what tools would you give them (teachers/administrators) to deal with the situation? Some are aghast at police/security being called. Handcuffs are out of the question (apparently). Touching is a no-no. What? The only way to get a parent's attention is to hit them where it hurts..........in the wallet.....Demand meetings to tell them what's going on.........if they don't show.....the kid is suspeneded. Many people don't like doing that becusae they don't want the kid to miss any school.........well I say he ain't doing anythiing while he's there.....send his ass home..and if the parent doesn't do something about it............then its on their head not the school's. Parents have some responsibility in this matter as well. THeir kid need's to get it that there is a price to pay for causing problems in school.................Every day they have to miss work........that child should have to pay dearly for it......... |
|
|
|
Post by kalisa2 on Apr 25, 2005 19:20:03 GMT -5
The only way to get a parent's attention is to hit them where it hurts..........in the wallet.....Demand meetings to tell them what's going on.........if they don't show.....the kid is suspeneded. Many people don't like doing that becusae they don't want the kid to miss any school.........well I say he ain't doing anythiing while he's there.....send his ass home..and if the parent doesn't do something about it............then its on their head not the school's. Parents have some responsibility in this matter as well. THeir kid need's to get it that there is a price to pay for causing problems in school.................Every day they have to miss work........that child should have to pay dearly for it......... I agree with that. However, in this particular case, the parent refused to come... couldn't get off work until 3 p.m. (we don't know what time it was), couldn't be there until 3:15. I'm assuming that was at least a couple hours away. |
|
|
|
Post by Aba21 on Apr 25, 2005 19:25:00 GMT -5
Why is everyone so worried aobut the child. if you're that worried then do something to keep them focused on the task at hand. You can't blame them for not staying on point. It's up to the parents and teachers to keep them headed in the right direction......................If that teacher is doing his/her job, then that child comes home every night with new information that needs to be heard and driven home to the memory banks. We need to make sure it stays there by making sure homework is done. Checking it and checking with the teachers to make sure they are doing it. Its hard work to follow up on your child but a parent must do that. Historically, our people didn't attend PTA Meetings and he like so we had no voice in matters of the child's education.....we just sent them to school. We can't wait for our children to tell us what is going on. When we show our interest in what they do, its another tool that keeps them on point.........and that all you can ask......stay on point.............don't have to be straight A's......but you have to be on point!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by tdallasw on Apr 25, 2005 20:16:36 GMT -5
I'm loving all these comments~!! My question does remain though... If the parents have not done their job as far as discipline, and sends this child to school, then refuses to pick the child up (for whatever reason, however good that reason may be) when their child disrupts a whole classroom... what tools would you give them (teachers/administrators) to deal with the situation? Some are aghast at police/security being called. Handcuffs are out of the question (apparently). Touching is a no-no. What? When I taught in Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools, on many occasions I had children in my classroom that behaved very much like that little girl did. There were times that I looked for three 6s in their scalps and I wanted to call in an Exorcist  Teachers are basically handcuffed themselves since they cannot put their hands on students or try to restrain them without BEH certifcation. We were lucky enough to have 3 BEH/BED teachers and their 3 assistants in our school who all had the required training to handle students who were out of control. They worked with them everyday in special classes. Legally, unless a student was certified as BEH/BED they were not allowed to be restrained or put in a padded room. But, if a child was becoming completely unmanageble and dangerous our principal would bend those rules and have one of those teachers come and get them and get them in a restraining hold. The administration at that school in Florida should have had the little girl removed from the classroom a lot sooner than they did... that episode went on for way to long. The parent situation just made me mad! I bet that the school has tried to get the mother in for conferences all year with no luck. Now, she is seeing dollar signs and an opportunist lawyer will help her try to sue the school system and police dept. I can truly empathize with the teacher and school administration... but the armed police officers putting handcuffs on a 5 year old does seem a little bit excessive and had to be traumatic - even for that little demon.  |
|
